From the Mind of a TeenageKlutz

I’ve decided to start this new ongoing topic that I’m going to post on once a week (roughly). Since my site is called From the Mind of a TeenageGrl (girl), I’ve decided to play off of that and create “From the Mind of a Teenage…[fill in blank].” It’ll just be a word, a personality trait, or something about me. It could be inspired by a story, a feeling, or just a little piece of me that I think would be interesting to talk about. Since my posts are kind of general things that people can relate to, the point of these is to get to know me a little better since I don’t usually do super personal posts about me and my life.

This Week’s Theme! (kind of obvious from the title): Klutziness

This one was inspired by a funny, awkward, embarrassing, typically klutzy incident. Today at lunch, I was hungry after eating my entire lunch (which wasn’t that much by the way) so I was looking through my friend’s lunch. By some unfortunate miracle that only I, Klutz Master, would be blessed with, the lunch box tipped over and the Thermos made a huge thud on the floor along with a few other cartons. Everything being closed tightly, it did not cause a mess; however, it was pretty loud and caught the attention of the guys at the table next to us. I was a little (but not too much) embarrassed and they started chanting out things like “EMBARRASSING!” “WHAT A LOSER!” and “WOW GOOD JOB!” They’re my friends so I just threw some food at them and told them to shut up. And then everyone at my table had to go and make a big deal out of it (when none of the food was spoiled and no one was hurt! – but, hey, they needed something to talk about) and the conversation lasted for a good five minutes about my “gracefulness.” The day before, I tripped over an UNMOVING stool (how does one do that?) and most days, I bump into various people in the hallway.

You’d think that I wouldn’t be too awkward or klutzy because I’m so short and compact; there’s barely any of me! But somehow, these incidences happen almost every day. Luckily, I’m not embarrassed easily so I usually just laugh it off and never think it’s a big deal. I guess I just don’t pay attention because my mind is fifty places at once and the last place it is is the THING right in front of me that I’m about to walk into. Or I’ll just happen to be the first one to step on a spill, get my sweater caught on a door handle when there’s a huge mass of people waiting behind me, drop my lunchbox in front of a random person who awkwardly stands there wondering if he should pick it up, or tip something over when all I want to do is look inside of it. And of course, it’s always in front of my friends who never let these opportunities pass by without making fun of me.

Thank you, Klutz Gods, for blessing me with this gift. I really appreciate it.

So I’m your typical klutz who can’t tell left from right and is the annoying one in the hall always getting in your way. On behalf of all klutzes, we’re sorry, but we can’t help our incoordination (and I wonder why I suck at racquet, hand-eye sports).

Are you a klutz or someone who is graceful and gets annoyed at those people that are constantly in the way and spilling things? If you are klutzy, do these incidences really embarrass you or do you not really care?

Relationship Statuses on Facebook

One part of Facebook that I find really funny (maybe it’s just me) is when someone changes their relationship status. K, it’s not THAT funny, but the comments are. It’s also funny because it’s not just like (for those who are unfamiliar with Facebook) “single” or “taken.” It’s SPECIFIC.

“I’m single but I’M LOOKING. JUST IN CASE ANYONE WAS WONDERING! Yup this girl right here, single BUT LOOKING. Hear that single dudes? I’M LOOKING (specifically at you tall dark hunk).”

Thank you for broadcasting your inner relationship feelings all over Facebook.

Since I’m a sucker for lists because they make me seem official, they’re fun to write, and because I’ve heard through the grapevine that it’s a “good blogging technique,” I think I’ll list this out.

• Single – You’d think this one would be self-explanatory, and for the most part it is. I’m single. This means I’m not taken. But the comments. OH THE COMMENTS! It’s almost as many as when someone’s in a relationship. When someone’s status suddenly goes to single, suddenly it’s pity party mania. “X is now single.” People are either a) happy because s/he is a dateable candidate b) sad because s/he broke their friends heart c) shocked d) indifferent. And when someone first posts their relationship status as “single,” it’s automatically ZOMG WHO WERE YOU DATING BEFORE?! No one. I just felt like putting a status. Chill.
• Married – So you’re married. Cute. But couples who have been going out since the Ice Age (aka longer than 6 months) are like “X is married to Y!” No you’re not. Your DATING. Put married when you’re actually married. So when you break up you’ll be “divorced?”
• In a Relationship - Commonly used. Simple. You’re going out with someone. This one doesn’t seem to cause much controversy over all. Except the comments get really annoying, too. “X is in a relationship with Y!” — OMG I KNEW YOU GUYS WOULD GO OUT! Awww, you’re perrrfect together <3333 love you two! X+Y FOREVS! Yeah. It’s great.
• In an Open Relationship - Seriously, that’s literally the most pointless thing. YO EVERYONE ON FACEBOOK LISTEN UP! X IS IN AN OPEN RELATIONSHIP WITH Y! Okay. Let me explain. It’s cute when two people are in a relationship and people (okay, maybe only their friends) generally care when two kids are going out. They like it. They don’t care that you are “dating but not really” someone. And some girls think it’s like the funniest thing when they’re “in an open relationship” with their friend. I don’t really know why people do it. They think it’s funny or they think they look pathetic just putting “single.” Either way, when “A (girl) is in an open relationship with B (girl friend),” it’s really not amusing at all.
• It’s Complicated – My personal favorite. Anyone who puts “it’s complicated with” as their relationship status is pretty hilarious, desperate, and generally lovable. “X is IT’S COMPLICATED WITH Y.” I can’t even do justice to this status. It means that you want so badly, like SO BADLY to be going out with this person, but it’s just not working out. Hence, you put “it’s complicated” which translates as “I’M DESPERATE! SHE HATES ME!” It’s for those adorable naive people who mistakingly flaunt the fact that they’re desperately, hopelessly being rejected. “It’s Complicated” does not mean “We’re getting there.” It means “I’m holding on to the last thread of this person because I’m pretty sure we’re WAY over.” So complicated.

Relationship statuses alone are entertaining to me. It would be fun to watch others play around with their statuses and see what they REALLY mean when they post what’s up in their love life.

Weird Fashion Trends

I love being in style, creating my own trends, looking different from everyone else, or just having a day where I wear something CRAZY. I’ve gotten compliments on my outfits and also the oh-your-outfits-confuse-me-so-much! (Why do they confuse you? You’re not the one wearing them…) There are some trends like the mixed print trend and menswear for women trend that I love, ones that I think change up the typical function of the piece (wearing a floral print shirt with a striped sweater). But there are some that I, being as daring as I am with fashion, would never wear!

• Jeggings - A combination of jeans and leggings (the name is so unappealing) This fad annoys me to no end. There’s one such thing as jeans (ranging into the super skinny style so they pretty much are leggings!) and there’s another such thing as leggings, which to me, aren’t proper to wear alone. Leggings are for use under skirts and dresses. NOT PANTS! So this new “jeggings” things encourages the wear-leggings-alone-with-just-a-sweatshirt hideous trend and makes it “okay” by making them appear like REALLY tight jeans. Sorry, the organ-squishing jean position is already filled.
• Harem Pants – I’ve seen this described as “painfully hip.” Yeah, maybe just “painful.” So last time I checked, there was a reason why they called the crotch a crotch. Harem pants completely destroy the entire point of “pants.” It’s like a really uncomfortable pair of sweats that have like a huge crotch so your upper thighs rub against each other awkwardly…yeah, it’s gross. And then they’re TIGHT at the bottom? WITH HEELS? Definitely like a weird-fitting pair of sweats. Maybe they should change the heels to running sneakers or Crocs (another barf-worthy thank-god-it’s-not-a-trend-anymore invention) to complete the look.
• Leather – SUMMER leather? I did a double-take when I saw this picture. To clear it up for you, yes, it is a DRESS made of LEATHER. I don’t know if this one has made it to the everyday world yet but it’s being promoted as like “Top 20 Spring Fashion for 2010″ or something and it’s bothering me. K, fine, wear a cute leather coat in the winter. Bring out your leather boots. Wear a leather cuffs and a leather belt. HINTS of leather. Not like A FULL ON LEATHER SUIT. And then the “summer leather” is just a complete oxymoron. Leather is warm. So the concept of a sleeveless leather sheath or leather shorts is just pointless.
• Clear Jewelry – Isn’t jewelry supposed to make a statement?What is the point of clear jewelry? I’ve heard all different names for it. “Oh, it’s LUCITE.” “No, no it’s GLASS.” “But mine is CRYSTAL, DAHLING. So chic.” Um. It’s clear. No one can even tell you’re wearing jewelry. It’s not even worth wearing. If you want jewelry that goes with everything get white or diamond or pearl or something that SHOWS UP. I’m obsessed with jewelry. So when someone wears clear jewelry I get so aggravated because how is that expressing yourself or showing any personality AT ALL? Please wear bright jewelry or stick to nothing.

These are just a few trends that I’ve heard about/seen that I personally don’t like. Do you like/dislike the ones I’ve talked about? What’s your fashion style? What other trends are you following or shaking your head at?

I Will Never Understand Guys

To me, guys are a huge mystery. So many girls are like, “Oh, guys are just like girls once you get to know them! They’re so simple!” Well, I know plenty of guys, and zero of them are just like girls, and zero of them are simple (of the ones I actually try and decipher, that is).

Each one of them has a completely different personality, likes a completely different kind of girl, gets annoyed by completely different things. I guess they are similar to girls in a sense but I can never figure out why guys are doing specific things. I think that’s the big question with them: WHY?

How? We all know. When? When do you think? Who? Girls, of course. Where? Once again, self-explanatory. What? …I don’t even know. This one’s up in the air. But Why? is never answered.

For example, a guy could talk to you one day and completely ignore you the next. FOR NO REASON. Just avoid you and nod at you in the hall when just the day before, he was taking every opportunity to talk to you. He could act like he loves you one day and then two days later, you find out he’s asked out another girl or has a girlfriend (unbeknownst to you, of course). The question that always pops up in my mind is WHY WHY WHY?!?! WHY did he act like that around you when he has a girlfriend? WHY won’t he just ASK YOU OUT if he likes you? WHY does he flirt with 50 million other girls? WHY do your friends keep saying he likes you but he never makes a move?

I’ve experienced so many friends who are like, “Oh, I think this guy likes me” and I’ll see them together and be like, “Yeah, he probably does.” Two days later: X has a girlfriend! ….WHAT? WHY? WHO? WHEN? UGH!

When you’re JUST FRIENDS (an inexplicably complex terminology), this problem doesn’t really happen and I can see where the simplicity of a guy’s personality comes in: You like him, he likes you, you’re buds, that’s it. But as soon as it starts moving past that phase (which, believe me, it will) then BAM! 800 new things you have to worry about. Crushes are exhausting. And then complexity of the male species just makes it worse!

Here’s a tip for guys: If you sense that a girl likes you, confront her about it because girls are too “shy” or think its “weird” if they approach a guy first/ask him out. If you like her, ask her out (STOP POSTPONING IT!) If you don’t, then ask her if she’s into you and tell her it WON’T RUIN THE FRIENDSHIP if she does. A girl’s number one fear is that her solid friendship with you will be ruined if she throws her feelings in the mix. If you don’t like her that way, tell her and just act normally as if nothing’s changed.

Not to sound like a handbook, but girls are self-conscious! We (even the most outgoing of us) don’t like approaching guys, so make it easier for us and approach us and take it seriously.

For now, I think I’ve given up on trying to figure out a guy’s motives. I’ve stopped being so analytical and I think I’ll just roll with it and see where it takes me. If I can.

If you’re a girl, do you find guys complicated? If you’re a guy, are you one to approach girls about how you/they feel? What’s your take on the opposite gender?

Stupid Lingo

This post was inspired by a conversation I was having about a week ago with my dad and my uncle about net lingo, so kudos to them for inspiring (I felt the need to give them a shoutout).

If I had to write the way I do for school essays when I’m online with my friends, I would die. But some Internet lingo (even though, yes, I admit to using it sometimes, often, or constantly) is actually really stupid when I think about it. When you use lingo, the actual translation of what you’re saying sounds so dumb. (note: most of the exaggerated lingos are about laughing!)

LOL

My Usage: Overused

“Look at this picture I found of us from the summer!” “LOL!!!!!!!” Typical exchange. Imagine writing LOL out in it’s full word form, so the conversation reads: “Look at this picture I found of us from the summer!” “LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!!!” Sounds really, really awkward and weird and generally unacceptable. Usually, if something’s funny, I’m not literally laughing out loud. And if I am, I’ll usually say “I LITERALLY JUST LOLED!” so they can tell the difference between chuckling inside (mildly funny) or straight out laughing (must’ve been pretty damn hilarious). I’ve cut down dramatically on my LOL use and have replaced it with “haha” “HAHAHA!” or “HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA” depending on how funny the comment/thing/picture is.

ROFL

My Usage: Never (proud to say!)

A version of LOL, but worse. ROFL=rolling on the floor laughing. At least with LOL, it is possible to be truly laughing out loud. But if you’re ROFL, how are you even typing ROFL? MAKES NO SENSE. And, when the comment just reads “rofl,” it’s even worse. “My brother ate a stinkbug and now his breath smells gross!” “rofl.” OOOH YOU SOUND SO EXCITED! Typing ROFL in lowercase letters does not have any more effect (or affect, I can never remember) than lol, haha, or any of the other various laughing lingos. No one actually thinks you’re rolling on the floor laughing. Nice try.

Variations: ROFLCOPTER – pretty much a nerd’s usage of ROFL. They think it sounds hilarious when they really just sound like fools.

TTFN

My Usage: Never

Okay, this isn’t a common phrase but because it’s still out there and it’s acceptable to use, I feel the need to bash on it. Ta-ta for now. Really?! You can’t say bye, see ya, talk to you later (TTYL), see you soon, be back later or ANYTHING else. You have to say TTFN. It’s obnoxious and sounds snobby and weird. Just don’t use it.

(More Tolerable) Variations: TTYL (acceptable because you probably will talk to them later), BRB (be right back), BBL (be back later), or any the aforementioned sign-offs.

OMFG

My Usage: Maybe once? in a bout of ruthless anger (although in these situations, I usually just employ the favorite WTF)

There is really no need to add the F. Capitalizing OMG instead of a simple omg is already a little annoying. It makes you sound like you’re an obnoxious teenager (which even if you are, I doubt you want to convey this) who thinks s/he has earth-shattering news that needs to be listened to RIGHTNOWORELSE. Adding the F is unnecessary and actually a little inappropriate (maybe I’m being all annoying and don’t-say-God’s-name-in-vain, but I personally don’t like it.) OMG and omg are already WAY WAY WAAAAY overused so don’t overdo it.

The Abbreviations That Are Miles Long and No One Actually Uses Them

My Usage: Never Ever EVER

I was on this website for some reason and came across this “Top 50 Popular Text/Chat Acronyms” article which was a total fail. I’ve only used about 5-10 of the acronyms listed in my entire lingo-using career (around seven years). I hate when I see a “popular” abbreviation that is probably longer than the actual typed-out message and that no one will use/remember/care about/think is helpful.

• DBEYR – Don’t Believe Everything You Read – I use this one all the time. “Hey, X, DBEYR!” Just say “you’re so gullible” or something sarcastic to that effect (I think it’s Effect for this time around?) The person you say this to will probably sign off on you right then and there.
• DILLIGAS – Do I Look Like I Give A Sh** – DILLIGAS? DILLIGAS?! I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
• MHOTY – My Hat’s Off To You – First of all, the words it stands for! Who even says those anymore? Second, the abbreviation makes me think of another concept entirely.

I love some helpful, intelligent, actually-saves-time lingo. And I still have to kick my addiction to a few frivolous abbreviations. But please, use your lingo wisely and save your readers from becoming angry with your email or becoming plain confused because you don’t know the distinction between a few lingo words and an entire body of text consisting solely of net lingo.