People Like Getting Skin Cancer?

I like being tan. I mean, who doesn’t? When it’s summer, you’re kind of supposed to be tan, and when you’re not, it’s kind of bothersome. But there’s definitely a point when you should be able to look at yourself and go, “Yup, that’s good” and lay off the sun. Some people are just a) blind b) like having leathery skin c) really want skin cancer d) don’t have any concept of too much e) are afraid that they’ll get white if they don’t tan like every second of their life.

When I go to the beach and I see people that are literally the color of a penny and you can TELL they’re just not supposed to be that way because their hair is like bleached blond (GOOD COMBO!) it makes me cry. Like just looking at them, I feel like I’m going to get skin cancer. Do you really not see that having really brown/orange/kind of black but not skin, wearing a hot pink bikini that not only shows off your orange undertones but also exposes old tan lines, and bleaching your hair bright blond just makes you look…I don’t know…bad? Really, those prescription sunglasses aren’t doing anything for you.

So when you walk around the beach in a bikini with really tanned skin that’s wrinkly from overexposure you’re basically saying SUUP BEACH I REALLY WANT CANCER! I mean, if you can’t tell that you’re basically going to shrivel up if you get anymore tan, then I think your brain doctor should help you out there.

Also, YOU WILL REMAIN TAN. It really boggles my mind when I see people that are tan and they’re like OH EM GEE I’M LOOKING SO PALE I NEED TO GO TAN! And I’m like, Actually it’s the middle of winter so when you’re black it doesn’t really look natural, and you’re already pretty much way too tan so yeah…just, no. If you don’t tan for a week and you are already pitch black, I think you can afford to not go tanning for a little while. You won’t die, I promise.

So please if you’re offensively tan, lay off the tanning booths for a little while and save yourself from skin cancer.

On How I Suck at Life

This is pretty much the best I can come up with the day before my four day final exam schedule starts (yes, I am still in school on June 15th…a crime I tell you). Since it dawned on me fairly recently that I suck at lots of things that are kind of relevant to my blog postings (who am I kidding, nothing is ever relevant on here), I decided to enlighten you with stuff about how much I suck.

For starters, this blog. So I used to be like scarily awesome at keeping up with it. When I first made it, I was all into it like OH I’M GOING TO WRITE EVERY DAY but then I realized that I was totally being unrealistic as usual and that I’d be lucky if I kept up with it once a week because I didn’t want to write those short little crap posts that get people excited and then it’s like…two sentences long. I’ve been making excuses on why I don’t keep up with my blog (too much work, no inspiration, no time) but it’s pretty much laziness. That probably explains the complete lack of views I’ve gotten this past week…I’ve had a post up since June 3rd. My blogging is probably going to get even more lazy in the summer but I’ll try my best to keep it updated.

I’m not clever. I don’t play my cards well. For example, I have my first final tomorrow (History) and I have to ace it in order to maintain an A- average for the year. So this weekend I basically killed myself studying for it and I walk into school and one of my friends was saying how it was going to be a piece of cake and he would totally wing it and I called him crazy. Now today, she gives us a review packet and says if you know this, you’ll be good for the final. THE REVIEW PACKET IS SO. EASY. You’re telling me that I did ALL this work when I basically knew everything without even studying. Die. And then my friend goes, “Good thing I didn’t study.” And if I hadn’t studied, I would’ve been screwed studying all tonight.

I’m also losing my skill in Scramble 2. If you don’t know what Scramble 2 is, you haven’t lived. It’s pretty much the most addictive word game in the entire world (i.e. electronic Boggle but Scramble 2 sounds way more awesome). It’s a free app on my iPod touch and all my friends in Study Hall are obsessed. You have to find as many words as you can in a 3-minute time limit and whoever gets the most amount of points wins (longer words=longer points). Let me just say that I pretty much crush anyone who tries to play me (say, like, a 60 point win). But, today, I GOT BEATEN. It was crushing. I was slightly off my game and there weren’t that many available points, and my friend beat me by 10 and called it “owning me” and really enjoyed rubbing it in my face the rest of the day (but it was all cancelled out because I beat him by 60 on the rematch). But it really hurt my ego and I’m afraid that one day I’ll wake up and my intense skill will just slip through my fingers and I’ll be getting beaten left and right. Since I’m really proud of this skill and it’s like my only one, I’m really counting on it and I might die if I lose it.

I hate people but I can’t ignore them. This is actually a disease. Like, someone will decide to stalk me and text 48 times a day and I will respond back EVERY TIME. Even if they are REALLY annoying, I can’t help it. I just feel bad and also it really bothers me when I KNOW I have an unanswered text in my  inbox. I don’t like starting or ending text conversations unless there’s a legit reason. But anyway, so, I’ll complain to my friends about how this guy is using me or someone won’t stop texting me and they’ll say things like, “Ignore him” or “Stop doing stuff for him” and it’s really not that simple! I’m pretty tough, but I’m also really soft and feel bad about stuff a lot. I don’t feel bad when someone’s being a jerk and they know it; it’s only if they’re totally naive and innocent and I’m just like HOLY EFF YOU ARE SO ANNOYING but they’re just so nice and ANNOYING and they have no idea…then I feel bad, because it’s not their fault, ya know?

Anyway, I’ve been feeling like I’ve been sucking at a lot of things lately. So maybe if I get A’s on my exams, I will feel better (YES I AM A NERD DEAL WITH IT). And I will also try to be more updatey if time permits.

Things That Embarrass Me

I decided to post on this because today in Study Hall, I was talking to two of my friends about something random that embarrassed me. Now, I don’t get embarrassed easily AT ALL. I am really klutzy and all of my tripping and crashing and my loud voice and my weird comments don’t embarrass me at all. Maybe embarrass isn’t the right word. It’s just some things that when I see them, I cringe. Yeah, embarrass is a good word. I get kind of embarrassed when I’m like around the person doing that thing…I can’t explain. Now I’m just rambling and making no sense at all.

• Water Bottles - This is the one I was talking about today. So when I’m almost done drinking the entire water bottle/Snapple can/soda can/whatever and there’s a TEENY bit left at the bottom, like one sip’s worth, I hate when people like tip their head all the way back and drink the last of it. I have no idea why; the whole head-tipping-way-far-back-slightly-looking-drunk thing just bothers me. It’s not even tipping the water bottle, it’s the head. And cans are the absolute worst. I barely drink drinks from cans for that reason. I’d rather just pour it into a cup. Or when I’m down to the last sip, I feel like I have to drink the rest in private where no one can see me.
• Fake Nails - I’ve already talked about how I don’t wear fingernail polish. Especially when people wear black nail polish, I hate it. But the absolute worst is those airbrushed or air tip nail things. No matter how real they look (not very real because I can always tell) or even if they’re not all long and sparkly and stuff, I still cringe when I see them. It’s just something that embarrasses me.
• Certain Words - I don’t know what they are off the top of my head, but there are just some words that I don’t like to say. They’re not curse words or those like birds-and-bees words or whatever; just normal words that everyone says but that make me die a little inside every time I hear them. I can’t think of any off the top of my head, but I’m going to start a list every time I hear one.

So, yup, I’m really weird like that and have normal things that everyone else thinks is fine that embarrass me and make me cringe. Are there things that are normal to other people, but “embarrass” you? (No? Yeah, it’s probably just me.)