I Get to Drive Soon!…or Not

So, this year, I’m going to turn sixteen. Which means…PERMIT! PERMIT! PERMIT! YAY!

When I was twelve, I thought that I was probably going to get my permit the second I turned sixteen because my parents would want me to do a billion errands for them and pick my brother up from school and whatnot. But then I started getting older and seriously being like, “K, when am I getting a car?” And my parents just completely disregarded it.

I mean, when you are a freshman, sophomore, or even a junior it is slightly acceptable to ride the bus. As in, you can get away with it. When you’re a senior, it just DOESN’T HAPPEN. It’s actually not okay. And for some reason that I cannot fathom, my parents think that this is an option. I’m not going to get a car when I’m sixteen, or even seventeen, or eighteen or nineteen or I don’t even know! Nobody told me when I was eight that I wasn’t going to get a car/driving vehicle thing! My cousin is thirteen and he’s halfway to getting a car–he’s been saving up since he got money. Yeah, good idea. I should’ve done that if I had known.

So now I have this legit dilemma. Everyone’s talking about when they’re getting a car, what kind, how their parents have this sweet ride all lined up for them and I’m all like TAKIN THE BUS! ‘Cept not really because I’m actually not doing that. I mean, I’m going to get my permit and all and know how to drive and get my license but I’m not going to have a car which is kind of an issue. My cousin (another one) got a car in her senior year of high school because she “needed” it because her school was an hour away. My parents are all like, “Oh you don’t need a car. You can take the bus or walk or whatever.” They don’t seem to understand the social consequences of being eighteen and taking the bus to school.

They also won’t let me get rides with my friends. My uncle suggested this and my mom shot the idea down immediately. It’s because they’re too immature and not licensed enough and it’s just “out of the question” and not even an option. I’m kind of stressing out about this because where I live in this snobby town, kids get like BMW’s for their sixteenth birthday. The bottom line is I need a car and don’t have money. Oh, and did I mention how I can’t get a job purely for the sake of money? Yup. So that’s out. So, I need ideas on how to get a car or something by the time I’m seventeen!

Mac vs. PC or Why Macs Pwn

Pretty much ever since Macs have been created (yay Apple!), people have been arguing about whether Macs or PCs are better. (MACS ARE AMAZING! UMM ARE YOU HIGH? PCS FTW!) I’ve used a PC all my life because my family is a) technologically challenged and b) lazy so we were like LETS KEEP OUR 34280410912 YEAR OLD COMPUTER! But finally, my parents wanted to have a computer in the main part of the house, so my dad just got a laptop. A Macbook Pro, to be exact. And it’s probably the greatest thing since sliced bread. No joke.

• Better Looking - K, it’s shallow, but I want my laptop to look good. I don’t want to have this bulky piece of junk with wannabe personalized covers or whatever these Dell netbooks give you nowadays (DELL NETBOOKS LET YOU GET ANY COLOR YOU WANT ON THE TOP WOOHOO!) I want a sleek, smooth, lightweight laptop with a screen that’s pretty to look at, flat keys, a sweet touchpad mouse thing (I believe it is called “multitouch technology”–swipe, pinch, rotate, scroll, tap etc.), and all the gadgets built into the sleek sides.
• Better Apps - Safari is better than Internet Explorer. iPhoto is better than My Pictures. iTunes actually comes WITH the computer. Pages and Keynote is way better than Word and Powerpoint (yeah, I’m all unconventional not using Word, sue me). Mail is built right in the computer so its like “Hey, I wanna email a picture–Oh look! It’s all on the bottom bar so I don’t have to open 41041852 windows in My Computer or whatever and get all confused and copy and paste stuff that doesn’t even work!”
• No Viruses - I hate Norton Antivirus. I don’t know if it was just my computer or if all 80 year old PCs do this, but literally every time I’d log onto my desktop it’d be like NORTON ANTIVIRUS. I don’t even know what the hell it is. I think it was supposed to be some ‘keep viruses away!’ software but instead gave us more crap than ever. We got our computer cleaned and 2 weeks later it had pop-ups and viruses all over again. I’ve had the Mac now for over 6 months and haven’t had a single pop-up or virus. Yeah. Dwell on THAT.
• Cheaper – So think about it. You buy a PC for 700 dollars, let’s say. You buy a Mac of the same size for about twice that. OMG SOO EXPENSIVE NOW I’M BROKE! Two years later: Your PC crashes and you have to buy a whole new one because you’re a technologically retarded. 700 more bucks. Wait, what’s that? Your Mac is working like new? Four years later: You’re up to your third PC. $2100. Oh, sorry? Did I hear right? Your Mac is JUST NOW slightly slowing down, but still completely capable of performing? Yeah. So in the long run, you save way more money with Macs. 1 Mac=5 PCs*
• Easier to Follow - It’s so easy to troubleshoot on the Mac. If my Internet is screwed up, I just go to Network Diagnostics and I can get back my Wi-Fi like THAT. When my Internet didn’t work on my PC, I had to go to the ROUTER in my house and like press a bunch of buttons and scream at my dad that the Internet wasn’t working and I needed it RIGHTNOW and what the heck, PCs are SO ANNOYING. Plus, all of the system stuff is in ONE PLACE. There aren’t 50,000 places to add a program. It’s all compacted into one place so the room can be used for more helpful apps.

And not only does Mac/Apple/whatever make better computers, the phones are better (why do you think every company has their own version of the iPhone) and the iPods are pretty much the only worth it music device (mp3s? REALLY?) So yeah, what I’m saying is that Macs are amazing and you should probably chuck your PC right now and go buy one.

*untrue statistic

Stupid Lingo

This post was inspired by a conversation I was having about a week ago with my dad and my uncle about net lingo, so kudos to them for inspiring (I felt the need to give them a shoutout).

If I had to write the way I do for school essays when I’m online with my friends, I would die. But some Internet lingo (even though, yes, I admit to using it sometimes, often, or constantly) is actually really stupid when I think about it. When you use lingo, the actual translation of what you’re saying sounds so dumb. (note: most of the exaggerated lingos are about laughing!)

LOL

My Usage: Overused

“Look at this picture I found of us from the summer!” “LOL!!!!!!!” Typical exchange. Imagine writing LOL out in it’s full word form, so the conversation reads: “Look at this picture I found of us from the summer!” “LAUGH OUT LOUD!!!!!!” Sounds really, really awkward and weird and generally unacceptable. Usually, if something’s funny, I’m not literally laughing out loud. And if I am, I’ll usually say “I LITERALLY JUST LOLED!” so they can tell the difference between chuckling inside (mildly funny) or straight out laughing (must’ve been pretty damn hilarious). I’ve cut down dramatically on my LOL use and have replaced it with “haha” “HAHAHA!” or “HAHHAHAHHAHAHHAHHAHA” depending on how funny the comment/thing/picture is.

ROFL

My Usage: Never (proud to say!)

A version of LOL, but worse. ROFL=rolling on the floor laughing. At least with LOL, it is possible to be truly laughing out loud. But if you’re ROFL, how are you even typing ROFL? MAKES NO SENSE. And, when the comment just reads “rofl,” it’s even worse. “My brother ate a stinkbug and now his breath smells gross!” “rofl.” OOOH YOU SOUND SO EXCITED! Typing ROFL in lowercase letters does not have any more effect (or affect, I can never remember) than lol, haha, or any of the other various laughing lingos. No one actually thinks you’re rolling on the floor laughing. Nice try.

Variations: ROFLCOPTER – pretty much a nerd’s usage of ROFL. They think it sounds hilarious when they really just sound like fools.

TTFN

My Usage: Never

Okay, this isn’t a common phrase but because it’s still out there and it’s acceptable to use, I feel the need to bash on it. Ta-ta for now. Really?! You can’t say bye, see ya, talk to you later (TTYL), see you soon, be back later or ANYTHING else. You have to say TTFN. It’s obnoxious and sounds snobby and weird. Just don’t use it.

(More Tolerable) Variations: TTYL (acceptable because you probably will talk to them later), BRB (be right back), BBL (be back later), or any the aforementioned sign-offs.

OMFG

My Usage: Maybe once? in a bout of ruthless anger (although in these situations, I usually just employ the favorite WTF)

There is really no need to add the F. Capitalizing OMG instead of a simple omg is already a little annoying. It makes you sound like you’re an obnoxious teenager (which even if you are, I doubt you want to convey this) who thinks s/he has earth-shattering news that needs to be listened to RIGHTNOWORELSE. Adding the F is unnecessary and actually a little inappropriate (maybe I’m being all annoying and don’t-say-God’s-name-in-vain, but I personally don’t like it.) OMG and omg are already WAY WAY WAAAAY overused so don’t overdo it.

The Abbreviations That Are Miles Long and No One Actually Uses Them

My Usage: Never Ever EVER

I was on this website for some reason and came across this “Top 50 Popular Text/Chat Acronyms” article which was a total fail. I’ve only used about 5-10 of the acronyms listed in my entire lingo-using career (around seven years). I hate when I see a “popular” abbreviation that is probably longer than the actual typed-out message and that no one will use/remember/care about/think is helpful.

• DBEYR – Don’t Believe Everything You Read – I use this one all the time. “Hey, X, DBEYR!” Just say “you’re so gullible” or something sarcastic to that effect (I think it’s Effect for this time around?) The person you say this to will probably sign off on you right then and there.
• DILLIGAS – Do I Look Like I Give A Sh** – DILLIGAS? DILLIGAS?! I think this one is pretty self-explanatory.
• MHOTY – My Hat’s Off To You – First of all, the words it stands for! Who even says those anymore? Second, the abbreviation makes me think of another concept entirely.

I love some helpful, intelligent, actually-saves-time lingo. And I still have to kick my addiction to a few frivolous abbreviations. But please, use your lingo wisely and save your readers from becoming angry with your email or becoming plain confused because you don’t know the distinction between a few lingo words and an entire body of text consisting solely of net lingo.

It’s That Time of the Year…

I’m not talking about Christmastime, spring time, or even summer time. I’m talking about the WORST time of the year.

Yeah. Daylight Savings Time.

More specifically, SPRING DST. (spring forward, fall back — what a nifty trick). This means (for those who don’t know) that we lose an hour of sleep. Okay, so you shoot back with, BUT WE GET AN EXTRA HOUR OF DAYLIGHT AT NIGHT! Uh…I care about one thing and one thing only, and that’s my sleep. Anyone who knows me knows that I am kind of a maniac about sleep. I need like 11-12 hours of sleep, which is what I manage to get on weekends. I don’t care if it’s pitch black at 3 PM if I can sleep in until 12 PM.

Yesterday, I didn’t even realize it was DST because it was also PI DAY! Which I got really into. Like I begged my dad to get pie, even though he wouldn’t because we’ve been “eating too much junk food lately.” Then he said he would bake a pie later in the week, which I told him, doesn’t have NEARLY the same effect. PI DAY=BAKE A PI. Duh. I said, “Dad, we MUST have pie cause it’s Pi Day!” “We can have pie another day.” “Dad, today’s Pi Day. That’s the whole point. We have to have pie today.” “We’ve been eating too much junk food lately. I’ll bake you a pie later in the week.” “I want to eat pie on Pi Day!” “You can have pie later!”

He wasn’t really catching onto the concept.

Anyway, I got really upset when I figured out it was DST, but then I got happy again because I realized today we had a delayed opening (how I love them). So I woke up at 8:30 (which is really 7:30) instead of 6:15 (which is like 5:15). So I wasn’t really affected by DST that much today. Now TOMORROW is a regular day meaning I have to wake up at regular time and catch the regular bus. Tomorrow, it’s going to feel like I’m waking up at 5:15 which is going to be BRUTAL.

I already have to come up with a system for myself so I don’t fall back into unconscious sleep. I allow myself to hit the snooze button ONCE and no more. If I don’t restrain myself from just slapping the snooze button every five minutes, yeah, it’ll be bad (Before I developed this system that runs on extreme willpower, I used to just abuse my snooze button constantly). So at precisely 6:20, I get out of bed which leaves me enough time to catch my 7:00 bus. So I’m pretty much bracing myself for death tomorrow morning when I wake up at (basically) 5:15.